Being an introvert, human interaction has never been a strong card for me. It doesn’t help that I have a resting bitch face that intimidates people. Once I start talking, they get intimidated even more! Adding my meagre fund of knowledge to this makes seeing patients, and doing preceptorials with stellar consultants, great struggles. So, when we started going to the clinics in 2015, I started to become unhappy.
I know that pushing forward in this career path would mean that I have to learn the art of human interaction. With my lack of social skills, and medicine’s long hours of rigorous training and studying, things will only get harder from here. Because of that, I started to doubt myself. Can I really do this? Am I even in the right career path? What do I really want to do with my life? What am I actually doing with my life?
There were days when I just wanted to roll into a ball and hide under my bed forever. Some days I would dream of becoming a full time housewife and do nothing but cook, clean the house, and take care of myself and my family. Perhaps I could become a business woman, own a restaurant or cafe, or go and become an interior designer! In spite of all these fantasies, I know in my heart that becoming a doctor is what I’m called for. If I turn my back on all of this, it’ll only be because I want to take the wide road.
In 2015, my mind’s been full of negativity, self-doubt and self-pity, and it did not feel good. That’s why I have decided to make this year different. Life’s too short to spend it feeling miserable. 2016 is my year to grow, and I will start by living a healthy lifestyle.